Lesson 11 – Ephesians Chapter 4:25-32
So far, in chapter 4 we covered a lot of ground. The way I see it, in the first part of this chapter, Paul has been pulling us together as a church. He said the church itself has many parts, which points to all of us, meaning that each individual belongs to the church and has a roll to play.
In Alistair Begg’s devotional for July 1st, he writes, “If you disappeared one day from your local church, who would notice? If you were absent for an extended period of time, what would your church miss? God has given every believer at least one gift to use for the good of His body. And while none of us should be irreplaceable in the same sense that the church couldn’t go on without us, we should be missed if we were absent, because God has gifted us in a specific way at a precise point in time to be uniquely useful in a particular group of people.”
This is referred to as the “unity” of the church… verses 4 to 6 best describe it for us.
“There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.”
If this was describing a certain country, we could use the word “patriotism” rather than the word “unity.” Which seems to be diminishing in our own country, but as far as the church is concerned, I hope that being in this body of Christ gives you a real sense of belonging. As Christians we are truly family, there shouldn’t be anyone who feels alone, yet some do feel that way.
To build up His church, God gave gifts to the church. These gifts came in the form of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. God also gives everyone a gift from the Holy Spirit. It is important that each person knows what their gift is so they can utilize it within the church body. If you don’t know your gift, please pray about it.
Last week I talked about believers being “brand new.” Just like James teaches us that faith without good works is a dead faith, a believer who hasn’t had any change take place when compared to their “old self” might not be saved at all. Granted, for some a change isn’t immediate, but over time a change takes place none the less. To carry it a step further, God’s Word encourages us to aspire to a certain level of maturity, which also involves utilizing our gifts.
Tonight, will talk about what it means to grieve the Holy Spirit.
Eph. 4:25
“Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.”
Why has Paul used the word “therefore?” It is his hope that he is now addressing the “new man or woman” in Christ. Remember back in verse 20 Paul also makes that assumption saying, “But you have not so learned Christ,” meaning that you belong to Jesus, you are “in Christ.”
I John 2:4
“He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.”
In verse 25, Paul is giving us a specific command for the “new walk” in a believer’s life. As believers in Christ, we’re to “Put on righteousness and put away lying.” Pretty clear and to the point.
Paul doesn’t say for us to go to counseling to overcome some kind of dysfunctional tendency we have, or the fact that someone might over-exaggerate all the time. No, he simply says, “Stop lying. Now.” Boom, there it is!
A new person in Christ should therefore act like a new person.
Rom. 6:4
“Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.”
News flash… liars will not inherit the kingdom of God!
Rev. 21:8
“But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars – their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”
Just a little side note, speaking of cowards, this past Sunday I heard a great quote from Charles Spurgeon; “Bold-hearted men are always called mean-spirited by cowards.”
So, let’s be honest, every one of us has told a lie.
The person in question here is the person who lies all the time, they are a habitual liar, it’s a lifestyle for them. If there’s a person within the church who lies all the time, what good is that?
Have you ever met a habitual liar? There is absolutely no value in a person who lies all the time, they can’t be trusted, and they’re undependable, you can’t believe a word they say.
John 8:44
“For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (NLT)
Truth has a goal, and that goal is to build up rather than to tear down. When you lie to one another you are in effect lying to yourself.
Isa. 6:5a
“So I said: Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;”
One commentator writes, “Our society today is so dependent on lying that if it suddenly turned to telling the truth, our way of life would collapse. If world leaders began speaking only the truth, World War III would certainly ensue. So many lies are piled on other lies, and so many organizations, businesses, economies, social orders, governments, and treaties are built on those lies that the world system would disintegrate if lying suddenly ceased.”
It’s easy to see on the subject of lying, who this world really belongs to.
Some years ago a Christian man became widely known for his powerful and moving testimony, but after several years he stopped. When asked why he stopped, he replied with some degree of integrity, “Over the years I embellished the story so much that I no longer knew what was true and what was not.”
Cheating in school and on income tax returns is a form of lying. Making foolish promises, betraying a confidence, false flattery, and making excuses are all forms of lying. Anyone feeling the sting yet? The bottom line is the Christian should have no part of lying, which is incompatible with our new nature.
“Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”
Paul is quoting…
Zech. 8:16
“These are the things you shall do: Speak each man the truth to his neighbor; give judgment in your gates for truth, justice, and peace;”
If I put my hand on a hot stove and my nerves lie to my brain, saying, “It’s not hot.” I’m going to get burned. So, too, if one part of the body of Christ lies to another, everyone gets hurt.
Col. 3:9
“Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices,” (NASB)
God’s kingdom for His children is based on truth, Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor for we are members of one another. The word neighbor here means that we are fellow Christians. We are to always speak truth to one another, except where a legitimate confidence is being held. The church cannot function properly if its members shade the truth with one another or fail to work together honestly and lovingly, it just won’t work.
Eph. 4:26
“Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”
Context is always important, imagine if I only said, “Be angry,” then people would say, “God’s Word says to be angry,” and leave it at that. Anger is a strong emotional reaction of displeasure, which often leads to plans for revenge or punishment.
Psalm 37:8
“Cease from anger and forsake wrath; do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.”
James 1:19
“This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;”
Paul says, “Be angry, and do not sin,” meaning, that there are going to be times when we are angry. When Jesus overturned the tables of the “money-changers” in the temple, He was angry because people were being hindered from freely worshipping God. This is referred to as righteous indignation… anger at evil. Anger at evil… Have you ever felt it?
John MacArthur, “Jesus was always angered when the Father was maligned or when others were mistreated, but He was never selfishly angry at what was done against Him. That is the measure of righteous anger.”
A righteous anger detests injustice, immorality, and ungodliness of every kind.
There is the story of an old English preacher named F.W. Robertson who wrote in one of his letters that he once met a certain man who was trying to lure a young woman into prostitution, Robertson became so angry that he bit his lip until it bled.
What is anger that it can be considered sin? This would be an anger that is self-defensive and self-serving as well. Anger also becomes sin when the angry person refuses to be pacified, holds a grudge toward someone, or keeps it all inside. Many times the reason for this behavior comes down to “pride.”
Jesus describes it as anger that leads to murder.
Matt. 5:21-22
“You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”
Paul has been saying to us that people should speak truthfully to one another, but now he’s pointing out that anger should be restrained, short-lived, and used for righteous outcomes. Sadly, many people seem to justify their anger instead of accepting responsibility for it.
How do we get rid of anger? Be honest and speak truth (Ephesians 4:15, 25), people cannot read our minds. We must speak the truth in love. Attack the problem, not the person. One of the biggest problems when trying to work things out is we don’t listen to understand, we listen just so we can respond. Again, speaking truth in love goes a long way.
Do not let the sun go down on your wrath…
Here’s the biggest answer to the anger problem. We must not let anger brew within us. Take a married couple for instance, they have an argument, it breaks down to the point where neither one is happy and they’re not talking. The worst thing they can do is go to bed mad. Number one, neither one is going to get any sleep being mad and the bad part is, this gives satan a foothold to mess with you, by putting unholy thoughts in your mind.
Nor give place to the devil…
One commentator writes, “Even the best motivated anger can sour, and we are therefore to put it aside at the end of the day. Taken to bed, it is likely to give the devil an opportunity to use it for his purposes. If anger is prolonged, one may begin to seek vengeance and thereby violate the principle taught in Romans 12:17-21: “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Eph. 4:28
“Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need.”
This is like Paul saying, “If you’re a liar, just stop lying.” Now he says, “If you’re stealing stuff, stop it, just stop it!” This reminds me of what is going on in the liberal cities around our country today. People, predominantly minorities, go into a store, pick up merchandise and walk right out without paying for it. That’s stealing, it’s wrong!
This is in the Big Ten, #8 “Thou shall not steal.”
Gotquestions.org, “Theft has a tremendous impact not only on individuals, but on society as a whole. Theft disturbs societal stability and the results are feelings of fear and insecurity and a desire for revenge. One has only to look at some third world countries where laws against stealing are ignored to see how detrimental it is to the population. God’s laws are not only moral and spiritual; they are infinitely practical as well.”
Stealing from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil showed that Adam was a thief, and we all know what happened after that.
The Greek word for stealing is kleptō where we get the word kleptomaniac. In the past several decades shoplifting in stores has grown immensely, and a good part of it is done by the employees themselves. In some large stores up to a third of the price of merchandise is marked up to compensate for all the things that are stolen. People beefing up their expense accounts, reporting more hours then are worked, failing to report income to the IRS, and other such deceptions are accepted as normal actions by many people. To them, stealing is simply a game in which getting caught is the only reason for regret or shame.
There’s really no end in the ways a person can steal, but it is against God’s commands and has no place in the Christian life. Rather than stealing we should be giving.
But rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need…
There is something to be said for working hard and keeping your hands “clean.” Then taking your wages and seeing what good you can do with your earnings.
II Thess. 3:10-12
“Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: Those unwilling to work will not get to eat. Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work, and meddling in other people’s business. We command such people and urge them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and work to earn their own living.” (NLT)
We’re not to steal, and if we are able, we should work for a living, and then share with those in need.
We’ve all seen them, they stand on a street corner or in the road median with a sign begging for hand-outs, asking for money and not food. If you try to give them food, they turn it down. Most of these people have a substance abuse problem, and they just want money to feed their problem. Others are just lazy, looking for a free ride.
This all hurts the people with real needs, who for some reason just can’t provide for themselves or their family. So, if the Lord is speaking to your heart to help someone like that, do it. Just be careful, because many times money is not the answer to the problem.
Paul’s message for us… start working and start giving.
Eph. 4:29
“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (NLT)
NASB uses the word unwholesome (sap-ross’) which means: rotten, putrefied, or corrupted by one and no longer fit for use. This spoke of rotten fruit, vegetables, and other spoiled food. Paul is giving us more direction for Christian living. Unwholesome language should not come out of the mouth of a believer. Do you think Jesus ever once used foul language?
Unwholesome language should be as repulsive to us as some nasty rotten food or spoiled meat. Needless to say, but I’ll say it, off-color jokes, profanity, dirty stories, or any other corrupt talk should never come out of our mouth. Would you tell a dirty joke to Jesus? An educated person has so many words at their disposal in which they can express themselves without using vulgarity, and yet, I’ve seen some very highly educated people use some words that have no place among God fearing people.
Also keep in mind, the believer is held to a much higher standard than that of the world. We are “in” the world, not “of” the world as Jesus says.
Col. 3:8
“But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.”
James 3:6,10
“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.”
That it may impart grace to the hearers…
Proverbs 25:11
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”
Eph. 4:30
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”
“And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, He has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.” (NLT)
Jon Courson has an excellent statement about this verse; “My bitterness, my anger, my speaking evil of someone or losing my temper with someone grieves the Spirit. Why? It’s not that God says, “Anger and evil speaking cause My ears to burn,” or, “Bitterness and wrath are offensive to Me.” That’s not the idea. There’s not a curse word God hasn’t heard. There is nothing that shocks Him. God is not grieved by how our speech, anger, or malice affects Him, but by how it affects us. He’s grieved not because He can’t handle our sin, but because it hinders Him from doing His work in, though, and for us.”
Every one of us has “grieved” the Holy Spirit at some point. When we realize this, the first thing for us to do is to confess our sin to God.
I John 1:9
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
This brings us back to fellowship and communion with God.
By whom you were sealed for the day of redemption…
The problem we have as believers is we have this tendency to forget that God lives in us. None of us would sin right in front of God, but we too often forget that He is always right there with us.
Psalm 121:2-8
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth! He will not let you stumble; the One who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, He who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps. The Lord Himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.”
And Paul is reminding us that we have been sealed by the Holy Spirit the moment we said yes to Jesus… sealed for the day of redemption.
Eph. 1:13
“In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise,”
God doesn’t give up on us the moment we sin against Him, and yes, even when we grieve Him by the choices we make. God is always with us and in us. What we need to do is live with an awareness of God all the time, then behave accordingly. When each temptation knocks on our door, God is there, so make the right choice. In reality, whatever we’re doing, we’re doing it in front of God.
I Cor. 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”
John MacArthur, “A powerful motivation for putting off unwholesome talk is that not to do so will grieve the Holy Spirit of God. All sin is painful to God, but sin in His children breaks His heart. When His children refuse to change the ways of the old life for the ways of the new, God grieves. The Holy Spirit of God weeps, as it were, when He sees Christians lying instead of speaking truth, becoming unrighteously rather than righteously angry, stealing instead of sharing, and speaking corrupt instead of uplifting and gracious words.”
Another thing to keep in mind, grieving the Spirit can lead to quenching the Holy Spirit.
I Thess. 5:19
“Do not quench the Spirit;”
The metaphor of quench means to extinguish, stifle, or retard the power or energy of something, of the Spirit as a fire. The warning here for us is not to smother the Holy Spirit’s work within us. The entire sanctification process that a believer goes through is all through the workings of the Holy Spirit. How does a Christian quench the Holy Spirit? By living with unconfessed sin.
With unconfessed sin, communion and fellowship with God is basically non-existent. This is dangerous because there is no spiritual growth taking place, thus not achieving any form of Christ-likeness. If this is the case, there is no storing up treasures in heaven in preparation for the Bema Seat judgment. All negatives to say the least.
Paul isn’t saying we should avoid sin in order to keep our salvation, but rather, that we should be eternally grateful to the Holy Spirit for His making it “impossible” for us to lose it. The moment the Holy Spirit convicts your conscience of some sin, confess it, clear the deck, start out again with a clean slate. As Christians, we might get knocked down, but we get right up again.
Eph. 4:31
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.”
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” (NLT)
More words to live by from our godly teacher.
The list Paul gives here all grieve the Holy Spirit. God doesn’t want us to blow-up or shut-up, He wants us to grow up. These are the sins that can break fellowship and destroy relationships that weaken the church and give a poor testimony to the world around us.
If an unbeliever sees any one of these bad traits in a Christian, they immediately cry out “hypocrite,” and well they should, as none of these things should displayed in a Christian’s life. Christians are not perfect, but when these things happen, they should be dealt with right away.
Eph. 4:32
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Paul ends on a positive. The things he’s telling us to do all have to do with us loving one another.
John 13:34
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”
I Thess. 4:9
“But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;”
I Peter 1:22
“Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,”
Just as God loved us so much that He gave His Son as a sacrifice for our sins so that He could forgive us.
We talked tonight a lot about how we should act as believers. Lots of do’s and don’ts… what we should say, what words shouldn’t come out of our mouth, how to be angry, and don’t stay angry. All these godly tidbits continue to point us in one direction… living for God and to try to live a life pleasing to Him. This should be our goal. When we fall short, confess it to God and get back on the narrow path with Him.