Lesson 14 – 1 Corinthians Chapter 7:3-17

We’ve just entered chapter 7 where we will see what Paul has to bring us in the realm of marriage. Chapter 6 showed us that when believers have disputes or disagreements, we are to go to one another in the spirit of Christ’s love, and not be dragging each other into court.

As we closed out chapter 6, Paul reminded us that those who are in Christ are no longer their own, that we have been purchased by the blood of Jesus Christ. As believers, we are indeed forgiven of all our sins, and this gives us the freedom to live godly lives for Christ. As it turns out, the Corinthians were abusing their Christian freedoms.

I can only imagine that satan had gotten into the heads of the Corinthians, whispering in their ears “all things are lawful,” giving them the green light to do as they pleased. But then Paul says, all things might be lawful, but not all things are profitable. In no way is sin ever profitable, at least as far as God is concerned.

At the end of chapter 6 Paul instructs us that “our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit.”

Prior to the death and resurrection of Jesus, God’s presence dwelled within the temple in the Holy of Holies. The moment Jesus said on the cross, “It is finished,” the temple curtain was torn in two, exposing the Holy of Holies, thus showing that God was now accessible to everyone through Jesus Christ. From that point on, everyone who gives their life to Christ, are immediately sealed with the Holy Spirit, guaranteeing He will never leave them or forsake them. Regardless of the believer’s lifestyle or behavior, the Holy Spirit is always with them.

Paul then points out whenever a believer sins (immorally or otherwise), they are bringing the Spirit with them. For the Christian, that is a shameful thing to do.

Starting out in chapter 7, we learned that the Corinthians had written Paul asking him questions. The first question had to do with being celibate. There were those who were dealing with sexual sins, and to combat this, they wanted to go to extreme by knocking out sex altogether.

Verse 2 of chapter 7 has a solution for those having sex outside of marriage, and that is, to get married. But we also know that getting married just to have sex is the wrong motivation.

1 Cor. 7:3:
“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.”

Now we come to the husband and wife, and with the husband and wife, celibacy is no longer part of the equation. There were some in the Corinthian church who didn’t see things that way. Some had it in their minds that to reside in a state of spiritual superiority, one must abstain from sex altogether.

Remember, God is the one who created marriage, and He sees all marriages to be sacred, which includes the sexual relationship between a husband and wife to be sacred as well. Satan does all he can to subvert and destroy the marriage bond. Having an adulterous affair is satan’s counterfeit to what God meant to be pure and undefiled.

Not only are sexual relations between a husband and wife sacred, it should be seen as appropriate and even essential. Paul makes it clear that sexual relations within the marriage are not simply a privilege and a pleasure, but also a responsibility.

Paul uses the word “duty,” in this verse. The Greek word for duty is of-i-lay’ which means that which is owed, a debt, and specifically of conjugal duty.

There are many duties that go along in a marriage, but Paul is being very specific with this duty, and it is to give sexual satisfaction to each other, and here there is no distinction between man and women, they’re both the same.

Anyone falling asleep yet? 😊

1 Cor. 7:4:
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

What we have here is a mutual obligation for both parties.

John MacArthur writes, “God honors sexual desire and expression within marriage. In fact, failure for Christian husbands and wives to submit sexually to the authority of their spouses brings dishonor to God because it dishonors marriage.”

In the grammatical tense being used here, have authority over means the spouses’ mutual authority over each other’s bodies is continuous; it will last throughout the entire marriage.

Sexual expression within marriage is not an option or an extra, it is not to be a bartering tool or something to be withheld as a payback in a disagreement.

When it comes to marriage, God intended it to be permanent, as well as the sexual relationship… they go hand in hand.

1 Cor. 7:5:
“Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Stop depriving one another…

This is an emphatic command from Paul, meaning he is insistent, even passionate about this. To be clear, sexual relations between a husband and his wife are God-ordained and commanded. So have fun!

By agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer…

This might be a time of intensive prayer together, or that you both agree to a time of fasting and prayer. There could be someone in the family who is very sick, or because of a death in the family, the husband and wife agree to abstain for a period of time.

And then come together again…

When this season is over, normal marital relations are to resume. The husband and wife are to come together again.

So that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control…

When Paul says they are to come together again, he’s being explicit to his readers, because the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Actually, after intimate relations have stopped for a time, normal sexual desires begin to kick in… sometimes with greater intensity. So not to open the door to temptation, husband and wives’ intimacies are to resume immediately. Satan knows human weaknesses, and he will capitalize on their weaknesses every chance he gets.

Physical love is to be a normal and regular experience shared by both marriage partners alike, as a gift from God.

1 Cor. 7:6:
“But this I say by way of concession, not of command.”

Paul says to us, but this I say… this like saying “therefore.” So, with this, we are to keep in mind of all the things that Paul has been saying about marriage. The discussion has been about celibacy and marriage, that both are okay, that one does not make a person more spiritual than the other, and both work in God’s economy.

Not of command…

Generally speaking, Paul’s comments were not to be taken as a command for every believer to be married. If you’re not married that’s cool, and if you are married keep on having normal relations with your spouse. Our spirituality is in no way determined by our marital status.

1 Cor. 7:7:
“Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.”

At this point in Paul’s life he was single. Previously, when Paul was Saul, he was part of the Sanhedrin; they were required to be married and to be fathers, both considered to be requirements for the development of wisdom and trustworthiness. This meant Paul was married and had children. The logical conclusion would be that Paul is now a widower.

Paul says he wishes that all men were even as he was. He could say this because he has experienced both worlds, being married and being single. From his experience he knows both sides have pluses and minuses. Paul isn’t expecting all believers to be married or everyone to be single. He says…

Each man has his own gift from God…

Matt. 19:12:
“For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

Everyone has the freedom in Christ to live their life as God leads them. If it’s in your heart to remain single or to get married, it’s perfectly permissible either way… it’s a gift from God, do it all to the glory of God.

As we move forward in chapter 7 Paul will address four different people groups:

Those who are formerly married; those who are married to believers; those who are married to an unbeliever and want to stay married; and those who are married to an unbeliever and want to end their marriage.

1 Cor. 7:8-9:
“But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

The unmarried and to widows…

To this first group Paul offers up a solution. In verses 8 and 9 we have the unmarried and widows. It’s probable that the unmarried he’s referring to would be those who are divorced.

It is good for them if they remain even as I… this statement is another indication that Paul is a widower.

Romans 16:13:
“Greet Rufus, a choice man in the Lord, also his mother and mine.”

This would be a reference to Paul’s mother-in-law and brother-in-law.

To paraphrase what Paul is stating here is, “If you find yourself divorced or widowed, if you can handle being by yourself, if sexual impulses aren’t too much for you, you should stay single like I am. But if you still need to be sexually satisfied, get married.”

It is better to marry than to burn with passion… this means “to be inflamed,” with sexual desire.

One commentary says; “A person cannot live a happy life, much less serve the Lord, if they are continually burning with sexual desire… even if the desire never results in actual immorality.”

I dare say, the sexual temptations we face in our world today are far greater than they were during Paul’s time, making it far easier for someone to fall prey to sexual temptation. The solution… don’t stay by yourself, get married.

That being said, we should never rush into marriage, as well as, don’t marry the first Christian who says yes to you, but yes, marry a Christian.

2 Cor. 6:14:
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”

In looking for a marriage partner, we should seek out someone we can love, trust, and respect. If these elements are not present, you have the wrong person. Too many people enter into marriage based solely on their heated passions.

1 Cor. 7:10-11:
“But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.”

This is our second people group, those who are married to believers.

But to the married I give instructions…

It’s important to note here, when Paul was addressing the unbelievers, he did not give them instructions like we see here. Then Paul adds, this isn’t from me but from the Lord. A gentle reminder that every word from Paul comes from the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

That the wife should not leave her husband… that the husband should not divorce his wife.

This is a prohibition against divorce…

Mal. 2:16 (NLT):
“For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

Jesus talks about divorce in Matthew 19:
(Vs. 5-9) (NLT)
“And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery – unless his wife has been unfaithful.”

Matthew 5:32:
“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

The only legitimate reason for divorce is for unchastity. The Greek definition for unchastity is; adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals, or sexual intercourse with close relatives.

I don’t even like listing these for you, but it is what it is and there’s no denying it. Anything other than what is on this list is not a good reason for divorce, which is what Paul is referring to in this text. Dogmatically, if a believer does divorce another believer, except in adultery, neither partner is free to marry another. They must stay single or come back to their ex-spouse.

These aren’t suggestions from some biblical counselor, but a command from the Lord.

The third category is; Christians who are married to an unbeliever and want to stay married.

1 Cor. 7:12:
“But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.”

But to the rest I say, not the Lord…

What Paul is about to say is not coming from his personal opinion. “Not the Lord” …means until now, Scripture hasn’t addressed this issue. I guess we could say that this is a new doctrine that Paul is laying down.

That if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her.

Strange as it might sound, there may have been some believers in the church who had concerns about becoming defiled by being married to an unbelieving wife, along with their children. They need not worry, because the opposite was more likely to happen… that the wife and children would be influenced by the believer. So, Paul’s saying in effect, don’t leave, stick around, and let the Spirit who is in you do His work.

1 Cor. 7:13:
“And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.”

Then Paul gives the scenario of a wife with an unbelieving husband. The same advice holds true, don’t get divorced, stick around and see what God does.

1 Cor. 7:14:
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.”

The way to avoid these situations is not to be unequally yoked, that the one you choose to marry is also a believer. This will help avoid future heartaches.

I heard a story about a large family, and the only believer was the grandmother. As she lived her life out before her family, everything she said and did was a reflection of Christ living in her. As a result, three out of her four grandchildren accepted Jesus as their Lord.

It’s important that we are always a witness for Christ, whether we’re in the home or outside our home.

Being sanctified through the believing husband or wife…

The word sanctified in this verse is not a reference to salvation. In this case it means to be set apart. The way God sees it, the home is set apart for Himself if either spouse is a Christian. The household is “set apart” when being compared to a house without any believers living in it. By just the presence of a Christian in a household, the unbelievers in that household are blessed because of that believer.

Gen, 39:1-3:
“Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an Egyptian officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the bodyguard, bought him from the Ishmaelites, who had taken him down there. The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. Now his master saw that the Lord was with him and how the Lord caused all that he did to prosper in his hand.”

We see in this example, that Potiphar was blessed because Joseph was a member of his household. Every Christian is indwelt by the Holy Spirit, and with the Spirit, God’s grace flows into that person… those around the Spirit filled believer can benefit from the blessings that come from God.

John MacArthur writes, “Furthermore, God looks on the family as a unit. Even if it is divided spiritually, and most of its members are unbelieving and immoral, the entire family is graced by a believer among them. Therefore, if an unbelieving spouse is willing to stay, the believer is not to seek divorce.”

For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy…

(NLT) “Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy.”

This doesn’t mean the children are guaranteed salvation, but it does mean that they are protected from undue spiritual harm and that they will receive a spiritual blessing.

When one parent is a believer, over time, the children will see the contrast of the unbelieving parent… and that can lead the children to salvation.

1 Cor. 7:15:
“Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”

If the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave…

As the unbeliever goes out the door say, “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!” NOT REALLY, just kidding.

The one who leaves… the word “leaves” in the Greek has to do with separating, dividing, and divorce.

Paul makes it clear, that if the unbelieving spouse is determined to go, the Christian shouldn’t even insist on them staying. To take it a step further, if the unbeliever wants a divorce, the believer should not contest the divorce.

The brother or the sister is not under bondage…

We see in Romans 7:2:
“For the married woman is bound by law (or under bondage) to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband.”

Obviously, this applies for the husband also if the wife dies. They are released from the bondage of marriage, and are free to marry again.

The other way a marriage is dissolved is through adultery and desertion.

God allows divorce if the believer is deserted by the unbelieving spouse or adultery has been committed. Why? Because God has called us to peace. To remain in a marriage with an unbeliever where adultery or desertion has occurred, the result can be; fighting, chaos, backbiting, criticism, and frustration. This is the total absence of peace.

1 Cor. 7:16:
“For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

(NLT) “Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you?”

We can see just in these two translations that there are two different ways to interpret this. The first is to say that there are no assurances that the unbelieving husband or wife will be saved by the believer holding on to the marriage.

The other way to look at this is, if the believer decides to tough it out in the marriage, the unbelieving spouse might see the light at some point.

For the believer caught up in a bad marriage with an unbeliever, I think the believer should devote themselves to a time of prayer and fasting, seeking the Lord’s will and direction. Every marriage is different.

If the person senses God encouraging them to stay, then they should stay, on the other hand, if the Spirit gives them comfort in leaving, they should leave.

1 Cor. 7:17:
“Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches.”

This is another interesting verse from Paul, in that he could be painting with a broad brush.

As the Lord has assigned to each one… or you could say, “Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you.”

So, Christian, where do you find yourself?

Have you been born into money? Do you live in a poor country? Do you have a good job or have you been fired? Is someone lording over you? Are you in the middle of a storm? Is your life on cruise-control?

It doesn’t matter where we’re born, who our parents are, or what kind of conditions we find ourselves living in… God knows where we are and what we have to deal with. The one thing that does matter is, if we do belong to Christ, are we living for Him.

Jermiah 16:17a:
“For My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from My face.”

Psalm 139:7:
“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?”

God has assigned to each one of us our calling in life, He knows every situation and every circumstance we will face, from living in a corrupt society under oppression to a highly blessed and trouble-free condition. We have been placed there by God. Some people call it fate or bad luck; Christians call it God’s sovereignty.

In this manner let him walk…

The main point is, no matter where you find yourself, as a Christian are you blossoming, are you making a difference? If you’re working at a job you hate, are you working as unto the Lord?

As a Christian, are you a better worker, are you a better husband, are you a better wife, are you a better friend to someone… are you a Christ-loving citizen? God has put us where we are to have a Christlike effect no matter where we are or what circumstance we find ourselves.

Matthew 5:13:
“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men.”

Mark 4:21:
“Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine.”

We don’t get to choose who our parents are, or even what country we’re born in, but once we get to the age of accountability, we get to choose everything. For those who have chosen Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Master, they have a responsibility to be salt and light to those around them… whether being a witness in their household, or to the person in the supermarket.

And so I direct in all the churches… this is the message for us personally and to all the churches.